Monday, September 3, 2012

Tussin for the Soul

So, wow.....I didn't think it had been this long since my last post.  I thought my last one was somewhere around the 13th or something, but this has been almost a month!

Well, I never promised weekly updates and the truth of the matter is that I just forget things.  A lot.  Even if I left this tab open all the time, after a few days I'd get so used to seeing it that I wouldn't even notice anymore.  Once, when I was in high school, I wrote myself a reminder in big dark letters on red paper and hung it at face-level from my ceiling fan.  I still forgot it was there, and eventually was able to dodge without thinking.

Also, as I've said before, I feel like there's not a whole lot for me to say.  Never mind the fact that I actually have about 30-40 ideas on a piece of paper somewhere; those just don't feel organic, and I believe that if I'm going to have this blog, then it should be authentic and raw, not scripted.

Sometimes I feel that if I don't have a lot of angst and self-loathing, I shouldn't bother writing here.  But that's wrong because this whole thing is about the bad days AS WELL AS the good.  And actually, I've been having some good days.  Of course I still glance in the mirror when I take a shower, assess what's what--I think a lot of people do.

Side note: I've noticed that having long hair makes me feel sexy in the shower.  It has a certain silky, clinging quality that makes you feel like a model in a shampoo commercial.  A sexy shampoo commercial.

I'm also still recovering from a nasty flu (seriously, not in recent memory have I been this sick--not throwing up sick, but a profound, aching, shivering sick that can only be fought with drugs and a lot of sleep), and though I feel 110% better this Monday evening as compared to last Monday evening, it's still not completely out of my system yet.  Needless to say, I haven't set foot in a gym since last Monday afternoon (where I think I acquired the bug in the first place).  I probably won't set foot in a gym for another few days.  And (I love this) I'm TOTALLY OK with that.

The flu knocked my on my ass and I'm content to stay there a bit longer.

AND I still think I look OK.  One whole week off from the gym and I'm not 800 lbs--who knew?!  I've noticed something too, that during this whole thing I've been eating a lot of very simple food: eggs, bread, cheese, milk, fruit, etc, and I feel good about myself.  I really like eating real food, not a lot of processed garbage.  I want to continue this as much as I can.

So there's my post.  Long-awaited, I'm sure.

I can never ever run,

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